Autumn Leave
by honu59
Summary: Autumn brings change, but as Dan Williams learns, change is an inevitable part of life. A story written for the Hawaii Five-O Anniversary Challenge.


_**A.N. – **__This story was written for the Hawaii Five-O Anniversary Challenge posted on the Coconut Wireless forum and was inspired by the following two quotations:_

_"My idea of going to hell is going somewhere where there are no books." _

- James MacArthur

_"What you have, what you are - your looks, your personality, your way of thinking - is unique. _

_No one in the world is like you. So capitalize on it." _

- Jack Lord

_In this story, I have used the first quotation in its entirety. I have used part of the second. Thanks to Tanith2011 for beta reading._

**Autumn Leave**

**The present: Late September, 1979**

Dan Williams stared out the window at the cold rain that pelted the glass, blurring the view of the golden maple leaves blanketing the front yard. The autumn nip in the air left him chilled in spite of the faded UC Berkeley sweatshirt he wore. He turned away from the window toward his only companions in the large old house: the few remaining pieces of furniture, some framed artwork propped up against the wall, the collection of cardboard boxes waiting to be filled and books – shelves and shelves of books. A poignant smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as a familiar voice spoke in his mind, warming his heart: _My idea of going to hell is going somewhere where there are no books._

How many times had he heard that declaration from his Aunt Clara over the years? Clara loved her books. Dan had fond childhood memories of his aunt reading to him from her vast library. Now, the passage of time had reversed their roles. Clara's eyesight had dimmed in recent years with her advancing age, and now it was Dan who read to his elderly aunt on his daily visits to the retirement home. Dan's thoughts drifted back to the first of several phone calls he would receive, all of which led him to be in his current location.

**The past: July, 1979**

It wasn't unusual for his aunt to call him in Hawaii, but there was something off in her half of the conversation. Dan couldn't quite put it into words, but he had a feeling in his gut that something was different, something was wrong. That feeling grew stronger as the frequency of his aunt's calls increased. Then there came the day when he answered the phone and it wasn't Clara on the other end, but one of her neighbors. Clara had fallen; she missed a step on her way downstairs that morning, the neighbor had explained. She was in the hospital with a broken arm. The doctors had also tested her eyes and concluded that Clara missed the step because she couldn't see it clearly. At that point, there was no doubt left in Dan's mind. The time had come that Aunt Clara could no longer live by herself. And as her only living relative, he knew that this transition was going to be his responsibility.

The long list of tasks that needed to be accomplished overwhelmed the devoted nephew, whose career as a state police detective consumed most of his waking hours, leaving little time for anything else. The fact that he lived half a world away from his aunt only made the situation worse. Dan tried to make some headway with long distance calls to retirement facilities and a couple of quick weekend flights to New York to check them out. But he wasn't making much progress and he felt like he was being torn in two between his job and his family obligation. When his boss started to notice, Dan decided that he'd better come clean. The conversation took place in McGarrett's private office one evening after everyone else had gone home:

When Williams entered his boss's office, he found the tall detective standing at the window gazing out at the evening traffic on King Street, his hands clasped behind his back. Even without laying eyes on Dan, the seasoned investigator recognized the sound of his second in command's footsteps, and greeted him with a curt "Sit down, Danno." Dan took a seat in one of the white leather chairs in front of his boss's large desk. Steve walked over to his desk and sat on the front corner, eyeing his tired officer.

"It seems like you've been distracted lately. Is something wrong? Can I help in any way?"

_Am I that obvious? Leave it to Steve, he can read me like a book; he's always been that way. _"It's my Aunt Clara, Steve. Her vision has deteriorated. She fell a couple of weeks ago; ended up in the hospital."

That alone got Steve's full attention and the concern he felt was mirrored in his expression. "How bad?"

"Bad enough," Dan responded. "Broke her arm. Steve, she can't live alone anymore and I need to find a place where she will be cared for. Only it's hard to do that from here."

Steve nodded in understanding, remembering the multiple trips he'd made to Los Angeles when his sister's baby was dying. _There are times when family just has to come first_. "Would she consider moving to a retirement home in Hawaii?" Steve asked hopefully.

"No, I've already tried that," Dan explained, sounding frustrated. "Her husband is buried in New York and she won't leave him."

"We'll find a solution," Steve promised. "I can talk to the governor about a leave of absence. You have an outstanding record of service to this state, Danno; it shouldn't be a problem." Even as he spoke, Steve's gut twisted at the thought of leading Five-O for an extended period without Williams by his side, but he kept that discomfort to himself. Danno needed to do this.

"Thanks, Steve," Dan replied sincerely, feeling that his burden had lightened to some degree. What Dan didn't say and perhaps didn't even realize was how much he needed to get away. He had worked for Five-O for almost thirteen years with little time off. The constant stress and the exposure to the darker side of humanity were taking their toll. It didn't help that Dan had patterned his life after that of his mentor, and Steve was rarely away from the job physically or mentally.

It had taken a couple of meetings with the governor, Steve's word that he would hire at least two new detectives, and then what seemed like way too much paperwork. But in the end, Dan was granted a nine month leave of absence.

**The present**

The steady patter of rain on the roof pulled Dan back to the present and he turned his attention to the task at hand. He pulled book after book from the shelf, wiping the dust from each volume with a cloth before carefully packing them into boxes. Clara's favorites left the shelf first. Before Dan knew it, he had filled four boxes. _Where do I draw the line? _he asked himself, already wondering where all those books would fit into his aunt's small room in the retirement home. After box number five, he decided that was enough.

Next, Dan started filling a box with books that he wanted to keep. Clara had urged him to take whatever he wanted and even though it would be expensive to ship books to his home in Hawaii, there were some with which he couldn't part. At the top of that list was Johann David Wyss's _The Swiss Family Robinson _- his personal boyhood favorite. Dan fondly ran his fingers over the illustration on the yellowed dust jacket as warm memories of the classic flooded back. Clara had always thought it to be an appropriate story for her "island boy" as she used to call him. And she was right.

He taped the boxes closed, labeling the single box for himself and the others for Clara. Then he began packing up the rest of the books, which he would donate to the local library. Once he had emptied the house and completed a long list of repairs, he would call a realtor and have the property listed.

After loading several more boxes, Dan took a break. He stretched the cramping muscles in his back and then walked back to the window to watch the rain. Funny how, after only two months in New York, his life and career in Hawaii seemed so far away. When he had first arrived, he had been on the phone with Steve every other day wanting updates on the cases that he had left behind; cases that had been assigned to other detectives. But as the weeks rolled by, Dan found his attention more focused on taking care of his aunt and her estate, and for the first time since he had accepted the position with Five-O, he wasn't constantly thinking about police work. Dan's leave of absence allowed him more than enough time to think about his own life and where it was headed.

Aunt Clara's move into the retirement home meant that she was in the final chapter of her life, while at forty-one, Dan was in the middle of his life. When he reached _his_ final chapter, what would he see when he looked back? Only his career? Only the criminals he had put away? Dan knew that he was a good detective. But there had to be more to life. The years slipped by so quickly and were gone, like the raindrops on the window. Dan had never married or had a family. Maybe it was too late for those things. Ever since he had joined HPD when he was in his early twenties, Dan had looked to Steve McGarrett as an example to follow; the ideal cop. Steve ate and slept police work; that is, if the man actually slept. _I wonder if Steve ever wants more out of his life. _

Dan's thoughts were interrupted when he spotted the postman coming up the walk toward the front door. He opened the door to save the man the trouble of fussing with the mail box, the lid of which tended to stick. Dan mentally added that repair to his to-do list, shivering from the chilly gust of damp air that blew in through the doorway.

"Good morning, Mr. Williams," the older man cheerfully greeted as he passed a small stack of mail to Dan. "How's Miss Clara doing today?"

"She's coming along, thanks for asking," Dan replied politely. "But she misses her house. I think she misses her independence."

"That's something we'll all have to face eventually," the postman stated philosophically. "Give her my best!"

"I will," Dan promised before he closed the door.

He sighed as he sat down in a worn chair, running a hand through his greying curls. _Something we'll all have to face... I do want more from my life_, he thought as he filed through the pieces of his aunt's mail: bills, store ads, a few mail order catalogs and…Dan was surprised to find an envelope with a Honolulu post mark, addressed to him in Steve's familiar handwriting! He quickly opened the flap, withdrew the letter, unfolded it and began reading:

_Dear Danno,_

_I hope this finds you well and Clara settled in and comfortable. I imagine that this transition has not been easy for either one of you, but I'm sure that you are handling all the details with your usual care and efficiency._

_It's been a while since we've talked and there are some things that I need to tell you - things that are easier for me to write than to say. The God's honest truth is that I miss you. I miss our working relationship. I guess that it's something I've taken for granted. Five-O is not the same without you. It's not the same without Chin. Maybe it's the change in personnel, maybe it's my age, but I'm beginning to grow weary of the job. There are other things that I want to do with my life and I'm starting to think about retirement. _

Dan shook his head, amazed at the coincidence of the words in front of him. _Really, Steve? Half a world away and you still know what I'm thinking? _His blue eyes crinkled from his amused grin as he continued reading:

_I know that we've never actually talked about it, but I've always felt that we've had an unspoken understanding that you would take over the unit when I decide to step down. Perhaps it's time that we do talk about it. Paul will be leaving office next year so the time may be right for a change of leadership for Five-O as well. _

_I remember when I first hired you, Danno. You often wondered why it was you I had selected. Sure, there were other men who were older and had more experience. But what you have, what you are – your personality, your way of thinking – is unique. No one in the world is like you. I knew then that you were the best fit for my second in command, and time has proven me right. We've been through a lot together over the years. I've watched you mature into an excellent detective and a fine man. You've proven yourself a capable leader each time you've stepped in when I had to be away. I think that you are more than ready, Danno. You have what it takes to lead Five-O, and you can shape it according to what will be your own unique leadership style._

_I know that you have your hands full right now so just take your time to think about this. Call me if you want to talk. Give my love to Clara._

_Aloha, _

_Steve_

Dan reread the letter a couple of times to take it all in. _Wow!_ _Head of Five-O! _ He was not expecting that. First, he tried to imagine himself in Steve's role with the hours that Steve kept, and he knew that he didn't want that. If he truly wanted some kind of life outside of police work, he would need to have time outside of police work. Then one line of Steve's letter leapt out at him:

_You have what it takes to lead Five-O, and you can shape it according to what will be your own unique leadership style._

_My own unique leadership style…_ ideas began bubbling up in Dan's mind. He could hire more detectives and delegate. Instead of one team of four men, he could have several teams of men…and women. _I wonder what Sandi Welles is doing these days... _ After all, Five-O was expected to enforce the law on seven islands; it just made sense that the department needed to be larger.

Suddenly, Dan found himself excited about the future and the coming advancement in his career. Steve's faith and trust in his abilities had bolstered his self-confidence to a new level. He could do this! And maybe he could finally make time for a private life as well. He folded Steve's letter and put it in the back pocket of his jeans. He couldn't wait to drive to the retirement home and tell Aunt Clara!

**Pau**


End file.
